Mafia Theories II
by InsaneKAT
Summary: Done in a format similar to Mafia Theories. 5 things that the Varia knows but does not, has not, and will not admit. Written for the finishing of my ABRSM test and Halloween.


**AN. **Nothing Halloween-related, but like I care.

I seem to be cursed on Halloween ever since forth grade rolled by and my sanity got lost. This year and last year was violin related stuff. The year before and the year before that was marred by severe cases of stomachache. My friend Esther looks so funny in my Adult!Viper cosplay that was half a foot too long for her. She changed into normal clothes with a kiddy wizard's cape. The fact that she was a year older than me didn't help.

I had so much fun writing II. I laughed throughout the entire process. The image of the Vongola and Varia dancing just makes me crack up. PS. If you go search up those Latin dances I mentioned and watch a video, I swear, you're gonna laugh your sses off. With the exception of Icy. I hope you'll laugh, though. Tell me if you do.

**Title: **It's somewhat similar to Mafia Theories, and my creative brain cells have disappeared after this.

**Prompt: **Varies. Number 1 was inspired by… some fanfic, I forgot. 2 was in the middle of violin practice, and I had to dump it somewhere. 3 is for my idiotic son of a !#$% of a violin and me finally finishing my ABRSM test. 4 & 5 because I really just can't leave this hanging with 3 measly things that the Varia won't admit.

**Timeline/setting: **I'm not sure. At least 5 years later.

**Point of view: **Xanxus.

**Mistakes: **Pick them out yourself. I've got homework to deal with. Fine, apart from my usual crappy endings.

**Language/rating: **Slight swear words.

If there's anything else wrong, feel free to tell me. Flames will be used to make a bonfire out of my violin and roast marshmallows with Byakuran.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the characters of Katekyo Hitman Reborn. All belongs to Akira Amano apart from the plot.

**5 Things that the Varia know but does not, has not, and will not admit.**

**I. Lussuria's cookies are the best.**

Honestly, would people respect them if they knew that the Varia had an insanely _soft _spot for Lussuria's Homemade Totally Utterly Completely Absolutely Positively Downright Frikin' Awesome Chocolate Chip cookies. Even Xanxus.

They actually hid this spot really, _really_ well. It wasn't until twenty years later, when the Vongola Guardians _finally _learned how to sneak up on the Varia, before the secret was exposed. However, it helped that Tsunayoshi himself quite enjoyed those cookies, so the secret didn't get any further than that.

Those times when they could actually sit down and talk like normal people eating normal chocolate chip cookies (fine, totally awesome cookies) were some of the only times Tsunayoshi got to talk to Xanxus without being interrupted or blasted at.

**II. The parties with the rest of the Vongola were actually quite enjoyable.**

The hilarity while watching a twenty-two-year-old Vongola Decimo tap-dance with Levi was utterly mind-blowing.

Of course, Gokudera threw a fit, but everyone _just _managed to ignore him. That was, until he started throwing the dynamite and causing Reborn to kick him into the wall for the sake of watching Tsuna get tortured by the humility.

It was originally Reborn's idea, gotten when a eighteen-year-old Tsuna off-handedly mentioned that he didn't dance much when turning down an offer. The sun Arcobaleno made everyone join in his 'idea', claiming it was training for 'reflexes, speed, power, balance, stamina, and fluidity in motion.' Basically, you pick two names out of a hat, the first being the male partner, and the other the female. Then you pick out a dance, and then a time (ranging from one measly minute to eleven – so far, nobody had gotten eleven, thank God).

If you failed to perform accordingly, you had to face the wrath of the Devil called Leon-Gun.

The unlucky duo, who had been chosen on the next dance held after Reborn's decision, happened to be Lambo and Ryohei. The cow-obsessed teen was a surprisingly good samba teacher, considering the fact that he had to make sure his partner, who had two left feet and wore a ridiculous-looking skirt with lots of feathers, were doing the correct moves.

Then on the next dance was Gokudera and Lussuria performing the Tango. After the torturing four minutes was up, the bomber untangled himself from Lussuria's killer grasp to go shower five times. Damn, that was some hellishly strong perfume the gay assassin wore.

And on the next was Belphegor with – brace yourself – Hibari. All through the five minutes of blazing-hot, fast-paced flamenco, Belphegor gripped one of his intricate knives between his teeth while Hibari gripped a bunch of rather high-rated insults and threats. The red dance lights and the three-inch high heels he was forced to wear _and _the knowledge that he was the 'female' in the dance didn't help his mood.

Last year's waltz couple was our favorite Loud Shark and Reincarnated Illusionist. Everyone gave Mukuro extra credit, since it wasn't really easy slow-dancing in a baby pink dress with someone who gripped your fingers so hard, bones cracked. The Mist Guardian had to go around with a bandaged hand for the next few months. But at least he didn't trip over the dress and fall into Squalo – he might have to get a bandaged cheek if he dared go any closer than he already has gone.

Perhaps the record for the most hilarious dance _ever _was held by Hibari, who once got picked with _Reborn _(nobody knew who slipped the name into the hat) to break-dance. The Arcobaleno was not amused. He made Hibari B-Boy by himself for five minutes, wearing ripped jeans, a leather jacket, and plenty of chains and skulls that Gokudera had outgrown.

(Then again, watching Hibari do anything apart from sleeping, drinking tea, and fighting like the devil was hilarious and _really _rare, so everyone treasured the moment.)

However, there was the time Xanxus himself got picked. He was _not _happy._ And _the fact that he was the 'female' in the dance didn't help. Not to mention that he had been chosen with Yamamoto Takeshi, the happy-go-lucky baseball/sword guy, who laughed through the entire 10 minute and the half without missing a single step in the extremely-fast-paced salsa.

Yamamoto had to be carted off the nurse with a nasty burn by the time ten minutes and a half rolled by.

**III. Violin is better than piano.**

One of the reasons was because most of the Varia didn't have a single musical cell in their brains (ignore the character songs – it was just modern technology at work), and the only who had anything musically inclined was Belphegor (the technology actually made it much worse in his case), who enjoyed the thinner notes played with a rosin-covered bow rather than the robotic notes hammered out on the piano.

(The other reason was that they were all present when Squalo decided to play the piano. Everyone's ears were ringing for a week after the unfortunate incident, even Squalo himself. Who knew a piano can be _that _loud?)

On the nights where Belphegor was free or sobered up enough to take out the century-old violin that had been bought from a French merchant to play, the sorrowful notes of 'Schindler's List' (or something relatively similar, genre-wise) drifting out the open window were enough to drive heartless ravens to tears.

Xanxus sometimes didn't know whether or not it was a good thing that he wasn't just a heartless raven, but a liger with bad anger management situations.

The Varia don't really understand the reason why Vongola Decimo's Guardians enjoy the Storm Guardian's piano playing so much.

They also don't really understand why they keep on denying the fact that Belphegor's 'Schindler's List' was _so _much better than Gokudera's 'Pathetique Sonata' (the bomber argued that he didn't have anything else at the moment, and that it wasn't _his _fault that the pathetically-written sonata was so _damn _fast – so fast it looked like he was having a fight with the keyboard – and that their G key was horribly off-tune).

Perhaps it was the assumption that if they did tell people how much they enjoyed the playing, Belphegor would stop playing for the sake of annoying them. The prince was just playing, thinking that he annoyed them.

(Little did they know, the Prince realizes all this. He just plays for the sake of waiting for the day the elite assassins finally crack so he can finally gloat about it.)

**IV. They actually celebrate Thanksgiving.**

They don't celebrate much. Halloween, Mother's Day, Father's Day, White Day, and Valentine's go right out the window. Only Christmas and New Year for the sake of the presents.

The only person they thank secretly on that day was Lussuria, who prepared the turkey.

**V. Sawada Nana was prepared the best steak.**

She was the only person whose presence somehow made Vongola's Ultimate Independent Assassin Team actually use their almost nonexistent manners. Darn, those steaks were worth begging for. The Varia were just too proud to admit it and crack under the pressure.

(Gokudera wasn't so lucky. Then again, the bomber had been living on ramen half his life. The kid deserves better.)

Sawada Tsunayoshi made it not only a note, but a goal to convince his mom to move the Italy without knowing about the mafia. Because not only did it make the Varia happy, but the kitchen crew in the Vongola mansion happy.


End file.
